I’ve had a couple of blogs over the years and I gotta say, the first post is the hardest. I have the next post already written and three more drafted in my head but dammed if I can figure out what to write here.
It feels like I should introduce myself but even that is more complicated than it sounds. I signed up for Second Life over four years ago on an avatar long buried in the land of forgotten pixels. I’ve since created a few others for several reasons, mostly for roleplay characters. You see; I’m a roleplayer, or at least I was. Now I’m a character without a role, a writer without a story to tell.
For a variety of reasons I find myself in a funk. I don’t want to blame the places I’m playing or the people I’m writing with because I know the problem is me. I just can’t figure out the specifics of what that problem actually is. I’ve been playing primarily in Gor for the last few years so it’s possible that I’m burned out on the genre, it’s not uncommon. It could be that my primary character seems to have lived longer and experienced more than she should have and she feels old to me, tired. I’ve been tossing around the idea of rolling a character in another genre but I keep drawing a blank. Don’t get me wrong, there are dozens of great roleplay sims in Second Life, I just can’t think of a character I want to play.
I was tempted to just quit Second Life and if you’ve been around any length of time you’ve probably gone through this as well. Somedays I think the retention factor of Second Life is habit, or that big scary A word that I don’t really want to think about. You log in, you change clothes, IM a few people, realize two hours have passed and you haven’t left your skybox. Some days I’m logged in but tabbed out surfing forums or youtube. I know this isn’t just me. So… how do we fix it? How do we rediscover Second Life? How do we reinvent ourselves in this medium?
This is particularly difficult for me because I’ve spent the vast majority of the past few years as a character in roleplay sims. I think I know a total of two people who aren’t roleplayers. Roleplay isn’t what I do, it’s what I am, it’s the community I belong to. Without it, without them, I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t even know what I’m doing here. I’m certain it’s compounded by the fact that my best friend two years, my SL partner in crime and fellow story teller isn’t around much anymore. When I started I used to do other things, lots of things, but once I was bit with the roleplay bug I never went back. I only left roleplay sims to shop and had long periods where I didn’t even have an off sim home.
So I asked for advice on one of the many forums I belong to and was thrilled to get quite a few responses. Some suggested I try building, or learn to DJ, while others mentioned live music. A few people suggested buying breedables, or checking out the sailing scene, or becoming involved in some of the SL sports leagues. They all sound interesting, but the one that caught my eye was from an old friend actually, a fellow roleplayer. He suggested I blog.
It’s not as if SL needs another blog right? A lot of people do it and do it better than I ever will, but his idea had appeal to me for two reasons. First, I do like to write I’m just struggling lately creatively so this will force me to get past my writers block. Second, if I blog about the other ideas people suggested then that will give me a reason to get out of my skybox and actually go try those things. It also gives me a place to write about the Roleplay sims I explore as I try to find a new genre and new character. The worst that can happen is that I lose interest and fade away, but that was already happening so it’s worth a shot.
I want to rediscover the excitement and awe I had about all things Second Life when I was a noobie. I want to renew my creativity and enthusiasm because I need for my Second Life to be more than a habit.
I’m calling this process… Renoobed.